simple shui | Q & A

with school back in sesh + september swaying this way, how about a little shui Q and A for your monday musing? i particularly LOVE this question because it personally resonates deeply. as someone who likes to be ‘doing’ instead of ‘being’, i am constantly stumbling into something my first shui mentor, Ellen Whitehurst, told me. “the universe is only seeing you give so it gives you more things to do. you must take care of yourself, and it will send a message to the universe ‘I LOVE MYSELF’ and i am open to receiving more LOVE.” ahhh, so that’s how it works — noted. until i forget again. . .

so, if you relate or this is you right now, today’s Q is a must-read.

Q: i have some resistance to receiving and like to do everything the hard way – more “do it myself” rather than ask for help. i’d like to explore a more receptive, soft, feminine approach to life and just see what happens … any ideas for rituals or practices to use around this? anything that’s worked for you?

we use metaphor to nurture and co-create the experiences + changes we’d life to manifest. so, look for ways to incorporate feminine (not girlish, necessarily. softer, quieter but equally powerful, receptive) accents in your surroundings, especially in the bedroom. perhaps splurge on luxurious sheets – we spend enough time in bed, it deserves to be a favorite feeling. and a bed is all about surrendering to stillness, sleep, and sensuality, right? i simply cannot say this enough — the closer we are to something, the more important its influence! so YES, the sheets are worth it!

another possibility: the left side of a home {if you are standing at the door looking in} represents feminine energy, and it is a great place to anchor that divine energy. consider adding a goddess or feminine deity here – this could be a statue, image, or book. any one of those would boost feminine receptive energies. personally, Quan Yin reigns the left side of our yard!

one last thought: display a photo/artwork of a vast landscape – this speaks to Earth energy, and Mother Earth shows us how to receive + nurture + support life. if any of these suggestions resonate, try it – each one embodies Earth energy, and Earth energy is the connective tissue to trusting + accepting LOVE + receiving everything we deserve.

happy monday, loves!

xo

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simple shui | q & a

i’m feeling stuck. i’ve often struggled with loving my space because I do keep everything, but of course that ends up being overwhelming. there’s no natural light and the walls are flat with no space for shelving. most of my stuff still sits in storage as well. i hold onto old clothes and magazines. there is a lot of dead and empty energy that feels stuck in the apartment. i moved around and threw out 27 things, but it hasn’t felt like any difference has been made. how do you make peace with the space you can afford?

i LOVE this Q so much because no matter the budget, the space, the resources. . .we all relate to feeling stuck. we get out of life what we tolerate, so change begins when we let go of whatever reinforces patterns + feelings that leave us feeling bone deep ambivalence. but change demands high energy, doesn’t it? so, how do you find a spark to start?

i have a few As just for you. . .

1. when we have tennis match in our mind – i work the shui // it hasn’t felt like any difference has been made – improvement moves like molasses. every time our mind switches to “it hasn’t felt like any difference has been made,” we step on the brakes and halt the good things our intentions have slaloming our way. simple isn’t always easy, but the good news is we do get better with practice.

2. “most of my stuff still sits in storage.” clear space in your storage. let go of what you don’t need, use, or LOVE to have literal room to receive the things you crave – more energy; a new space to live in; and a little magic for the unexpected. watch for the ‘what ifs’ – what if i need this? what if i can’t buy this again? these squander our precious energy by keeping us stuck guessing. if it’s not a HELL, YES! when you’re sorting through your storage, it’s a NO.

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3. “i hold onto old clothes and magazines.” give yourself a loving shove and get rid of the easy choices first. hold every single piece of clothing + magazine, one by one, and notice how you feel. if you don’t feel anything or you have an immediate negative reaction, let it go. what we allow in our surroundings informs how we feel. start a zero tolerance policy for low vibes, and the universe will respond kindly.

4. “there is a lot of dead and empty energy that feels stuck in the apartment.” unwelcome energy can be held in place by our things, especially when we don’t use // take care of // love them. eliminate dead + empty energy by noticing what’s neglected or unwanted around you. our dwelling influences our consciousness, and this includes every single thing we tolerate around us.

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and if you follow nothing else on this list. . .

5.  do one nice thing for your apartment every week until the end of the year – you might not LOVE the details of its structure, but there is plenty of opportunity to plant things around you that favor happiness. to make up for the lack of natural light, find artwork or imagery that depicts the sun; use the color white in your decor; hang a mirror on the wall to bounce light around your space. and re-frame the no-shelving quandary as an opportunity to be ruthless about what you keep!

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shui won’t work if you don’t. it’s not enough to want change; you have to show up. engage in the process. and trust the work. whenever you notice your mood and energy are low and worry has crept back in, deliberately CHOOSE to think about something that feels good. {this is why having something you LOVE in your space helps BIG!} the more we focus on the downside of our experiences, the more difficult it is for the shui changes to have a positive effect. it’s sort of like putting fresh flowers in a dirty vase – a little effort cleaning the vase makes a mighty difference in how those flowers thrive, right? YOU — your thoughts, your energy, your feelings — are a huge influence in the energy of your space. so, shui now and you’ll be shining later, m’love!

xo

p.s. notice a shift in your momentum after reading this and would like to keep that vibe jibin’? check out my workbooks — each is stacked with plenty of inspo and simple + unexpected ways to show your house some velvety LOVE!

simple shui | gather round

with summer on the loose, it’s time to tune into the LIVING ROOM. this space is a gathering spot — and when it’s garnished with love notes of our personalities, life has a tendency to go well and feel good for all. however, if the room is cluttered, those low vibes have a plucky tendency to show up in our conversations + interactions with our loved ones. and if no one is using this space, it hints that the family might be drifting apart.

so. i have a few simple shui strategies for you in today’s new video to keep your house feeling like home sweet home!

 

and if you like this new format — a video Q & A in under 3 minutes, send me yours and we will keep the party going all summer long!

xo

 

simple shui | let’s talk life support

whenever i talk about front doors, there is a conversation thread beginning somewhere. and usually, it is strung together with what ifs.

you know. . .

what if i don’t ever use my front door?

what if i have TWO front facing doors?

what if i live in a building and have NO control over the space outside my front door?

even, what if my front door isn’t red?

the front door is like a signature quality — we set the tone for everything beyond its threshold here. and it absolutely holds sway to harness happiness. so, from this point on, think of the front door as life support. because when we really want to rig life in our favor, it is the BEST starting place.

here’s what i know: no matter the obstacle, there’s always a shui remedy willing to oblige your intentions. so, i’ve heard your what ifs {questions + emails + comments}, and i have answers — ones that will feel just right for you!

 

xo

simple shui | q & a

no matter the reason we arrive at shui’s shore, there is usually a familiar undercurrent – we’ve lost momentum somewhere in our lives. and we just want that delicious flow back.

one of those detours is divorce. and it’s a steady conversation i find myself in with readers and clients.

who ask questions like…

how do i space clear after a divorce? {is it the same process you share in your video?}

can space clearing remove all the resentment? and what if we are still living together?

what are your thoughts about the furniture we shared?

while my answers vary depending on the nuances of each experience, i also rely on a few simple suggestions to reassure a home is harnessing calm vibes on their behalf.

so, if this is YOU, let’s start there, shall we?

sage is powerful. burning it alleviates heavy emotional residue that we just can’t shake, no matter how hard we’ve tried. as its smoke wafts through the air, i encourage you hold the highest intention of LIGHT + LOVE for everyone in the house, regardless of your shared history or stories. this technique isn’t to force forgiveness or resolution; it’s simply clearing space for something better to arrive in your lives, including good feelings and restorative clarity.

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also.

{1} open a few windows daily, even if it’s just for a short spell. wild grace {you know, that whoosh of an intoxicatingly fresh breeze} clears the air figuratively + literally – the perfect prescription if you two are still under the same roof.

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{2} when the situation feels remorselessly negative, put out a bowl of sea salt for 24 hours. after 24 hours, toss the salt in an outside trash. salt possesses powerful cleansing properties, soaking up negative vibes. it’s easy + cheap + SUPER effective to use as often as needed.

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{3} if you are still sleeping on the mattress once shared, buy a new one soon. until you replace it, sage your bed and buy new sheets. soft hues of pinks + greens are good for heartbreaks; however, any new bedding in a color you LOVE will work irresistible wonders.

{4} as for the great divide of furniture, be selective about what you keep. if we look at a piece of furniture or decor and our first thought wraps us into a negative story, we deposit its wonky energy in our space. setting up a *new* house is an expensive + exhaustive endeavor — so, starting over from scratch isn’t necessary. however, we can choose those things with the least amount of emotional density first. and for everything else that must come along? sage, baby, sage.

{5} resentment carves out nasty energetic patterns, but here is some simple shui abracadabra: move things around and you’ll soon be strumming to a new rhythm. resist the urge to over-complicate this task. all you need to do is merely push the bed a couple inches to the left or right, switch some lamps around, bump books to a new shelf, or rearrange the closet. small adjustments {paired with your intention} equal BIG steps forward.

{6} if you’re staying in the house post-divorce, make changes that suggest a fresh start – paint the walls, fancy up the decor with new textures + comforts, embellish with colors you LOVE…find little ways to launch some joy in your home. and, until you feel settled, ring your doorbell once a day as this will claim the space as all your own.

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{7} when you aren’t home, play music. classical compositions or calming tunes instill energetic integrity and benevolence while you’re away.

{8} finally, clear any clutter you have lingering from your marriage. think: anything monogrammed, wedding/anniversary gifts, photos from unhappier moments…

what do want most for yourself now? you keep what resonates with your answer. release the rest. and pace this process with gentle persistence + brutal honesty.

any of these starting points will unleash little synchronicities. so, give thanks for those *coincidences* as they percolate because that’s an acknowledgement of your efforts. and pay attention to where your energy tugs you – don’t waste that golden hunch questioning it. instead, offer your hand and follow intuition’s lead. because she knows the way to higher ground.

xo

 

{all the space clearing tips + techniques mentioned in my video will absolutely help, so if they resonate + leave you inspired, trust yourself to use them whenever you feel the need.}