simple shui | a thousand thanks + #tbt
i came across this photo of me the other day – my first headshot.
except.
i didn’t really need the head shot for anything yet. it was me thinking my ducks needed to be in a row, you know, just in case. i had wildly BIG ideas of what i was doing and how i was going to become part of the thought-leader generation. what you don’t see in that smile is the consuming self-doubt and case-gone-bad of imposter syndrome. i carried it all around with me, hoping + praying i wasn’t too far out of my own jurisdiction as i blogged and networked and had wildly BIG ideas.
this morning, i opened an email from a client who hired me for a second consult. as i read through her objectives, i made notes – suggestions + tips + ideas, all of it a comfortable sixth sense to me. but when this photo was taken, i hadn’t weaned myself off notes + books. i hadn’t even officially been certified. i could have rocked more confidence – i have plenty of other degrees to back me up, but nothing made me feel ‘good enough’ to call myself a shui consultant.
so, what’s the point here?
well, for me, it’s so easy to get caught up in the transaction of right now. i know, present moment is all we have and too much future-tripping is a guaranteed anxiety attack. but sometimes, you gotta take kamikaze leaps and careen into bold choices that would have your future self giving you high fives + fist bumps.
because the truth is, i am still not where i hope to be, but oh moses! i’ve created + curated some of the best experiences of my life with this journey.
i had no idea that i’d be published + shared like crazy on MindBodyGreen. . .
or that i’d be invited into the Dallas Design District as a shui expert + presenter.
no clue that ABC Carpet & Home would follow me + reach out to me. . .
or that i’d write + publish my own workbooks.
wouldn’t have guessed i’d find myself in the glorious company of gala darling and teaching her audience a shui curriculum written by yours truly. . .
or that i’d constantly feel inspired by and make friends with some of the most intelligent + merciful women and men on the planet – my clients and collaborative partners — who are creatively genius as directors, writers, designers, photographers, media consultants, and corporate superstars.
it would have felt surreal to know i’d be interviewed for magazines and symposiums. . .
or co-create + teach courses with one of the most delicious people ever.
the very idea that simple shui would be read around the world. . .
and eventually become a brand + lifestyle instead of a blog name.
if i had known, i wouldn’t have pumped the brakes as often – haha!
i still get asked how much money i make, if i am doing well for myself, who exactly my clientele is. as if these are the only real measurements of success. and i suppose i understand the curiosity behind it, because money certainly makes more things possible. but…
the landmarks + stops i’ve had along the way?
the memories i unleash and relish in quiet moments?
the rare privilege of working from home while building an empire?
the mistakes i’ve made and bumps + bruises i’ve endured?
the interactions + magic + juicy lessons that have cross-fertilized over the last 10 years, making shui a sixth sense?
those are my everything.
my internal drumbeat is to keep moving and figuring out what’s next, but when i saw this photo? i have all the feels for her and i’m a thousand shades of proud. for not giving up, refusing to give in, and despite the temptation so many times along the way, i am madly in love with her for not quitting on us.
for anyone just getting started or looking around and wondering if what you’re doing is ‘worth’ it – let it go. don’t try and control what’s going to happen – because that’s how the fun starts. and waiting for you on the other side is the bounty and magic and thrill worthy of the best celebration!
xo
