it's time we let girls be girls

I had to explain ‘pussy’ to my lovely the other day.

Our conversation was the furthest thing from reassuring for a 13-year old GIRL.

As I attempted answering her questions, I found myself saying, “Because that’s the way things are…” too many times.

Seriously.

Try it.

Tell a young girl what locker room talk is or that ‘boys will be boys’ and – if you’re frank and honest – you’ll probably violate the notion of decency more than you ought to be comfortable with.

I’m not one for controversy. Or taking sides. I am rather comfortable in my convictions, and I rarely feel compelled to change someone’s mind because I know my decisions are not up for negotiation.

The thing is for 13 years, I have been consciously and painstakingly raising our daughters to feel confident in their skin. To take up as much space as anyone else. And to listen and trust themselves more than the noise they are surrounded by. And given the current climate, I am mad as hell.

When I tell my daughter the word ‘pussy’ is mostly derogatory, tell me: why is it?

When I explain that some men will feel obliged to a woman’s body whether she consents or not, tell me: why is that a rhetorical debate?

When I cringe at the thought of someone laughing along to ‘locker room talk’, tell me: why are those conversations funny?

I don’t want any of that near my daughters. Or my mom. Or my grandmothers. Or my sisters. Or my girlfriends. Or any woman I know.

Listen, I’m not writing this to change anyone’s mind – because respectfully there is no way anyone will change mine.

Instead, I am writing this today because it’s time we let girls be girls.

As I was telling my daughter about misogyny, she was confused: Has this always been the status quo? Slowly, I saw the fury catching fire as she listened – her face saying this will not be my story; I will not assume the lesser role.

That’s girl power before we are marginalized. Commercialized. Objectified. And vilified, if we dare to be angry.

That’s girls being girls.

So this post? This is me letting my daughters know where I stand. What I believe. That I will take up space with my voice. And when we look back at this moment 40 years from now, they’ll remember what side of this issue – and I am not talking about who won the presidency – I was on.

That I stand with women.

And the decency we deserve.

As well as the space that is rightfully ours. Whether that is in the home or as the most powerful person on the planet.