The Real #BedroomGoals
Today, we are talking all about the real bedroom goals – from layering our light to living with what we love.
The bedroom is a sacred sanctuary – a place devoted to our comfort and vulnerability. It’s where we sleep; bare our bodies sensually; and return ourselves to equilibrium. And as a feng shui practitioner, a bedroom is very revealing because it tells me within a glance what you think you’re worth. Having worked with clients for over 15 years, there are some familiar patterns I find no matter the home / no matter the income / no matter the family make-up / no matter the life challenges…
Across the board, I can tell you it is universal that we maneuver resources to the more social areas of our home, making the bedroom an afterthought – a room we will eventually prioritize. (Hmmm…so you’re not worth being at the top of your list?)
A bedroom speaks to self-care, boundaries, and intimacy. When we funnel our attention and resources elsewhere, it conveys we care more about the people around us than we do ourselves – a belief that, left unchecked, will eventually dim our wattage. We cannot multi-task our own well-being, and no one will pat us on the back for putting ourselves last on the list.
If we aren’t good at holding boundaries in this sacred space, our boundaries out in the world are often infringed upon / taken advantage of / questioned. Again, when it comes to what you’re worth, let me step in and say YOU ARE DESERVING of YOUR BOUNDARIES. IT IS OF VALUE THAT YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY, REALLY WORKS FOR YOU. And having a space that prioritizes you and your well-being is not only hella important, it is hella effective for remaining firm and clear about what works for you and what doesn’t.
The bedroom is one space where we restore our personal reserves. I also happen to know that when we lovingly attend to the details of sleep, sensuality, and stillness in our bedroom, we engage some pretty powerful magic – the kind that everyone usually benefits from.
First up, I want you to FOCUS ON EASE & BEAUTY.
Straight talk: The focus of a bedroom deserves to be the bed – not the TV, accoutrements of work, piles of laundry or exercise equipment. We get out of life what we tolerate. By eliminating any pandemonium and making your bed the star attraction, you emphasize the importance and pleasure that can only come from rest, relaxation and romance. Which means… you want to be deliberate with this space.
Next, I want you to commit to simple. A bedroom’s template is pretty straightforward – a good bed / mattress; quality linens; a couple lighting options; a pair of bedside tables; a dresser or armoire; and whatever you find restorative. If your space has stretch, finish it off with a personal place for lounging – somewhere you escape to fully catch your breath.
Third, let’s talk about the importance of a headboard.
You might be familiar with what we call “command position” – where you situate your desk or bed so you can see who is coming into the room. If you have heard of it, you are essentially pulling from those very beginnings of Feng Shui. Which is how the concept of a headboard emerged with importance. You are essentially creating a sense of protection at your back – much like a mountain offers, a headboard is seen as a steady, still, and reassuring presence.
My fourth suggestion is to – in the words of Charles Eames – take your pleasure seriously.
Self-care is nothing to blush over – soothing fabrics and luscious linens are absolutely a worthy investment. And because the bedroom is where our sensuality will often frolic, indulge yourself. Buy the best you can afford. Quality doesn’t need to be impulsive – it’s intentional. And sometimes that means intentionally saving money and watching for a good sale or the right investment.
Speaking of pleasure, COUNT BY TWOS in the bedroom – or, keep things in pairs.
For my singletons or even those in a relationship where it feels like you’re single, look around your bedroom. There is usually something in the room unwittingly anchoring strong single energy. I know you think there’s not, but trust me this one is SO sneaky… If you want partnership, minimize the emphasis on that single energy. You don’t have to overdo it, but find ways to play with pairs and express your desire for things that feel like a relationship in your room.
Layer your light.
Ceiling brights on dimmers, bistro twinkling lights, glowing candles, spirited night lights, a yawning fire, or even a prayer for Spirit’s white light – every single one illuminates, navigates, and leads our way. And with different types of light within reach, we can effortlessly accommodate our moods and needs in the bedroom.
Live with what you LOVE.
When I speak of your bedroom telling me what you’re worth, it has nothing to do with cost or décor. For me, a luxurious bedroom is not synonymous with expensive or spacious. Rather, it is about drenching this sacred space with beauty the way you see it. When we choose to love our bedroom, it’s a glowing statement that we prioritize our own felicity.
When we make this space count, little by little, that effort has a cumulative effect. And in a room that nourishes sleeping deeper and waking more refreshed, we find ourselves – mind, body, and spirit – restored. And that will have you feeling like the master of your universe.
Our focus determines so much of where we go, and given that the bedroom bookends our days, it matters. So do something – just one thing even – to dress your room with LOVE and watch how the universe shows up spectacularly, scattering some magic, love, and carrying plenty of sunshine in your pocket!
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