Shrug It Off, Okay?

Over the weekend, we had a few "tumbles with the bundle"…as we like to call them. One of them involved a certain 7-year old falling off a bike and acquiring some impressive road rash. The other was a far more minor wound to another 7-year old's knee; however, her spirit experienced its own case of road rash.

And so, last night, this conversation ensued:

"Mommy, she says my ow-eee doesn't huwrt as badly as hewrs does," said one.

"It doesn't! Look how big my band-aid is!" replied the other.

"Mine HUWRTS, TOO!" said one as an eruption of tears fell.

"Oh, boy," said exhausted mother to said girls.

Being a mother to twins, life brings into sharp focus (on a regular basis) the little daily inequalities between my girls. And although my job is helping them understand life isn't always fair…while carefully being vigilant about not showing favoritism EVER…it seems we go round-and-round here with very little progress.

As this conversation developed last night, I started thinking about my own friends. And myself. And how our "ow-eees" sometimes like to compete. Why does it ever even matter? I often wonder. And why is there this need to constantly compare? Truthfully, we are where we are because that is precisely what we need right now. And the same is true for where we've been.

When we first entered the NICU, I remember feeling so envious of every single mother who blissfully leaves the hospital with her baby soon after giving birth. I was convinced, as we drove home after another full day at the hospital, life was hell-bent on sucking any surge of happiness from the marrow of my bones.

Until I had been in the NICU for a couple weeks.

There we witnessed an 18-year old mother trying to make impossible decisions for her 1-pound baby born 16 weeks early.

On the night one of our daugther's received a blood transfusion, another mother lost her baby because a blood transfusion didn't go well.

And our pod mate whose parents were never around the first few weeks….because…as we soon learned…the mother was in ICU battling for her life. And the husband was torn between whose bedside he should be at. 

My eyes were opened wide and my heart surged compassion. I learned how infinite the human spirit is to survive such harrowing moments.You just never know what lies within you until you really need it. Or how blessed you are to have your own experiences.

And, so, I found myself becoming more grateful with each passing day.

You see, I quite believe our unique challenges are "given" to us so we can discover meaning along life's path. And when you impose your meaning on someone else, well, it just isn't going to fit. It's about finding the good in what YOU have learned, experienced, and come to understand…and appreciating it. Every last morsel.

There will always be a fellow around the corner who can outshine you or unravel a far greater tragedy than your own. But the real meanings in life are not born from comparisons or self-sabotaging competitions. No, what is really important will always come from within.

So, as the conversation ended last night, a certain exhausted mother said,

"Learn to shrug it off."

You are here for your own journey.

And so am I.