the lovelies | a worthy celebration
i hadn’t slept.
not a sliver of moonlight had slipped past me.
the backyard was in rubble. thanks to our home improvement spirit colliding with a sudden siege of monsoon storms. and in the middle of it all, a new dog. ruby. managing her and the mud and doggy nerves. because thunder is scary.
i’d been cleaning messes up inside and out all night.
and i was vapid.
the sun interrupted this fresh hell, and i dragged myself toward the kitchen.
on my way, i passed this. . .
a LOVE note.
there were more. . .
they were scattered everywhere i looked.
i started to melt.
and the fullness quiet in me wept.
the juxtaposition was too much.
i took pictures as i turned every corner. and i found myself whispering praises the rest of the week.
because every single day, you lovelies save me a little.
your magic keeps me awake in the ordinary of it all. and makes me whole again.
especially this last year.
when you ran for student council and we couldn’t protect your confidence from being shattered, you reminded us we need to PLAY BIG more often. and when you won, the celebration was equally delicious for us all because it felt completely earned. no, we won’t always win and that’s not the point — rather, we will always rally around and collectively hold our breath together, celebrating the effort of trying with all we’ve got.
and when anxiety slithered into the year and took some shine off life, you wrestled SO hard. but instead of being a coward, you chose to SHOW UP. a reminder i can conquer my own insecurities + doubts — because you’re so brave and only 12. turns out, these quivers + knots + pounding heartbeats are getting us closer to fine, aren’t they? because the funny thing is, fear does not like the eye contact.
every day, you debriefed us on the dailies of school talk + activity. i was usually primed with opinions. meanwhile, your responses to *mean* were consistently honey soaked with kindness. and because of this inclination, you TRAVEL LIGHT. so, the tacky energy can’t cling to you. do you know what kind of wisdom that takes — to not get in your own way with anger and resentment? seems your patience dawns naturally. for me, well, i am grateful to bask in its glow.
your endless hours of movie making + story telling can feel isolating at times. no one seems to get it, right? but you CARRY ON because it combines your thrill for creativity + passion + possibility. and all of it is just for the sake of HAVING FUN. and that perfect love for fun is something we lose easily — i find myself often asking “what sounds like fun right now?” and i remember, because of your laughter + loose conversation, it sometimes takes a few mistakes and some wild chaos to figure it out. and, if i’m eavesdropping correctly, that’s the best part. i’ll be taking notes on this for a while.
i was worried what middle school would be like — this melting pot of ideas + information being forced to fit together within you — and would the weight collapse you? but here’s the magic rub of it all: your journey became our curriculum. often times, as you left the dinner table, you dad and i would sit. quiet at first. until the moment thickened into conversation. and in all those moments, we consistently arrived in a wide pasture of LOVE. because you are so authentically you. and because of that, we are learning everything that really matters.
xo
