I hosted a retreat, and here’s what it taught me…

let me ask you a question: when was the last time you felt genuinely nourished? not entertained or distracted, and not informed or outraged or scrolled into a stupor.

nourished; tended to; truly refilled.

I have been sitting with that question since I hosted my first retreat a few weeks ago, and I want to share what I learned because I don’t think it’s exclusively relevant to people who attended. I actually think it’s relevant to all of us, right now, in this particular moment.

when I told the people joining me that my intention for the weekend was nourishment, I meant it as a ‘design’ principle. it was less about a feeling I was hoping for, and more a principle every single decision would flow from. how?

for starters, my husband – incredible in the kitchen– cooked every meal so we never had to leave and absorb outside energy. I was super deliberate about how we spent our time together. I kept us close, kept us protected, kept us in a container I could actually hold.

as a group, we went through a home that had been struggling to sell and I invited them to brainstorm together.

I brought in one of my favorite local creative geniuses to lead a burning ritual.

I answered every question put to me with more transparency than I have ever shown in a group setting.

we hung out at my house – the first night, and then again late one afternoon.

I leaned local for everything.

the swag bags and goodies.

the shopping at Saint Ritual, which is chockfull of small businesses you are not going to find on Amazon or big box shelves.

a local baker who created a tray full of Year of the Fire Horse cookies for us.

a custom astrological cup for each attendee, made by a local artist, which is now something they each can come back to as a reminder to replenish themselves during a fiery year.

and we had one of my favorite humans and photographers with us the whole weekend, so she got a little of the sparkle magic, too.

with all that in mind, here is what stayed with me:

no. 1: nourishment is a strategy.

we treat rest and replenishment like something we earn after the hard work is done. I treated nourishment as the infrastructure going into this retreat, and everything worked better because of it.

no. 2: protecting the container is the first job.

(anyone who has ever held/lead a retreat is nodding their head YES right now.)

you cannot hold space for people if the space itself keeps leaking. so, every decision – the meals, the schedule, the vendors, the environment (y’all, we had ‘ranchers on hand to get us anything we needed!) – was in service of keeping what we were building intact.

no. 3: transparency is more powerful than polish.

it is always tempting to be ‘as perfect as possible’ because you want so much to live up to everyone’s expectations. but I also knew they needed me to be honest. those are very different offerings, and only one of them actually helps anyone.

no. 4: the details tell people they were thought about. 

from the fire cookies to the astrological cups to our final dinner – none of it was incidental. details communicate you mattered to me before you even arrived, and people feel that.

no. 5: everyone who says YES, well, that is the only metric that truly matters.

nothing compares to someone trusting you a second time. for me, that is the whole report card.

no. 6: community you can see with your own eyes is data.

I keep saying this (and will continue piercing the air with it), but we are being fed a steady diet of information that makes the world look irredeemable.

and yet, when I step away from the feed and have a real conversation with a real human being in front of me, I feel more hopeful every single time. I am not discounting the real ways the world is failing so many right now. I also don’t want us handing over all our real-life experience and feelings to an algorithm.

I have a degree in political science and worked on the Hill in the 90s, so I assure you, I am not naive about what is happening in the world – not even a smidge. it feels like a weighted vest every single day.

here is what I also know, and what I come back to every time I feel the weight of it:

our homes matter right now. 

our energy matters. 

the communities we build and tend and show up for – the ones we can see with our own eyes, not the ones filtered through an algorithm – are not a retreat from what’s happening.

we need energetic hygiene right now.

we need to be deliberate about what we absorb and what we create as a counterweight.

we need to look up from our screens, find each other’s eyes, and remember that how we show up – in our homes, in our neighborhoods, in our work – has the power to move someone toward something good.

it’s been a long, long time since I was in the shui for the sizzle only (hey, I was new to shui once, too!).

I am not here to pedal the light and love when it is grit and gore right now.

I am here to work alongside you to make sure you’re taking advantage of every opportunity to feel up for whatever your journey requires.

and honestly, that is the reason behind me teach live inside The Simple Shui Course all year.

it gives you access to the foundation of shui and gives you the opportunity to ask me real-life, sometimes messy, often *knotty* questions all year long.

opening intentional space is the only way I know how to do this work well, and it is the most consistent way I can show up for this community. so, if you’ve been wondering why I keep talking about shui – now you know. xo