inspired by | a night of painting

it was girls’ night out, and we were going to a painting class.

because i dwell comfortably in the styling of order and flow, it can confuse people into thinking i am wildly creative.

this is hardly accurate.

my nerves picked up frequency before evening had approached. but i reassured myself this is going to be fun.

at the studio, we were asked to pick a picture from piles of paintings, sketches, and art scattered around the room. choose something you would like painting.

thinking the class would be more guided (read: micro-managing hands on help), i was bold in my selection.

as we sat down with our canvas and a couple paintbrushes, the weight of my choice settled in.

an assistant loosely sketched the outline of an elephant on my blank canvas, but it was hardly the map for success i expected.

i began dabbling colors onto the canvas, becoming more intimidated as the minutes passed.

never mind painting an elephant, finding a way to blend the colors so boldly and brilliantly shook me right out of my comfort zone. i was convinced my anxiety was in a full frenzy until…

they encouraged us to step away from our work and walk around the studio to look at everyone else’s progress.

gah!

i wanted to run to the sink and rinse my canvas clean.

reluctantly, i moved around the room, astounded by how well everyone could paint and humbled by my progress.

i returned to my doe-eyed, cartoon-ish elephant. the original piece had spoken to my heart, but my head and her ego had influenced the painting process.

not one to normally ask for help, i realized i craved more. but to get that, it would push me to the very edge of my comfort zone. i raised my hand and asked the instructor if she would help me make my painting come alive. i cringed as a few heads turned to watch.

she took the brush from my hand, rounded it through the red paint, and stroked it across the elephant’s ear.

a small panic burst inside. what in the???

she placed the brush back into my inexperienced hand and told me to dip into this color and streak here. and grab a little of that color and put it there. try moving your brush this way. now, mix these colors and swirl them here. . .

and with her help, my elephant went tribal.

it made me so. much. happier.

it isn’t perfect, and oh my gosh…it isn’t even close to the gorgeous and incandescent painting that inspired me.

but.

what i learned that night influenced me to take some pretty big leaps this fall. {more about those in another post.}

1. getting as close to the edge of my comfort zone was straight up smart because it woke my brain up to some raw potential in me. i survived, and more importantly, the painting thrived. i believe potent stuff already exists within us all; it might just be dormant, waiting for our courage.

2. seeking out help fed my brain. collaborating with someone who knew how to do what i desired gave me a wallop of happiness. and that was good for my brain, my blood, my bones.

3. worrying about being good enough, what others might think, and having attachment to the results usually means i am playing too small. what my soul really wants, and i suspect yours does as well, is to fully express its potential.

so, more gutsy endeavors. intrepid curiosity. and hearty confidence. okay?

xo